The Dragon Orb is for Porn
by SconemeepT.T
Summary: Tribute to Avenue Q's The Internet is for Porn. Yay! Sort of a notreallysequelishthing to If You Were Gay. Read it or suffer my... displeasure...


**Yay! More procrastination... Who cares about German homework, anyway? HinataInuzuka requested a sequel for If You Were Gay, and this has been sitting around on my computer for a while... Muahaha...**

**Before you even say it, Sephy, I KNOW some of the lyrics are incorrect. I changed them on PURPOSE, ne?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Dragonlance, believe me. If I did, Takhisis would be subjected to a major image change. I mean, come on, who runs around as a five-headed dragon these days? George Bush is MUCH scarier...**

**ANITHER disclaimer: I do not own anything from Avenue Q, either. (sniff) Wow... I don't own anything, do I?**

RAISTLIN

The Dragon Orb is really, really great

DALAMAR  
For porn

RAISTLIN  
I've got a good connection with Takhisis so I don't have to wait

DALAMAR  
For porn

RAISTLIN  
Huh?  
There's always some new site,

DALAMAR  
For porn!

RAISTLIN  
I browse all day and night

DALAMAR  
For porn!

RAISTLIN  
It's like I'm searching at the speed of light

DALAMAR  
For porn!

RAISTLIN  
Dalamar!

DALAMAR  
The Dragon Orb is for porn

RAISTLIN  
Dalamar!

DALAMAR  
The Dragon Orb is for porn,

RAISTLIN  
What are you doing!?

DALAMAR  
Why you think the Orb was born?  
Porn porn porn

RAISTLIN  
Dallly-mar!!!

DALAMAR  
Oh hello Shalafi

RAISTLIN  
You are ruining my song!

DALAMAR  
Oh me sorry, me no mean to

RAISTLIN  
Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?

DALAMAR  
Me no talkie

RAISTLIN  
Uhm… Good  
I'm glad Takhisis gave me this new technology

DALAMAR  
For porn

RAISTLIN  
Which gives us untold opportunity

DALAMAR  
For por— (Raistlin glares his evil Raistlin-y glare) —oops, sorry

RAISTLIN  
Right from your own Tower

DALAMAR  
For ---

RAISTLIN  
You can browse for more power  
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop

DALAMAR  
FOR PORN!!

RAISTLIN  
DALAMAR!

DALAMAR  
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

RAISTLIN  
Noooo (coughing fit)

DALAMAR  
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

RAISTLIN  
(coughing) D…Dalamar…

DALAMAR  
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

RAISTLIN  
That's gross! (cough) You're a pervert!

DALAMAR  
Ah, sticks and stones Shalafi

RAISTLIN  
NO really, you're a pervert  
Normal people don't sit in my study and look  
At porn on the Dragon Orb!

DALAMAR  
Ohhhh?

RAISTLIN  
What?!

DALAMAR  
You have no idea  
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE  
Ready--- ready ----ready

DALAMAR  
Let me hear it!

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

CARAMON  
Sorry, brother

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

CARAMON  
I masturbate!

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
All these guys unzip their flies  
For porn, porn, porn!

RAISTLIN  
The Dragon Orb is not for porn!!

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
PORN!, PORN, P---

RAISTLIN  
HOLD ON A SECOND!  
Now I know for a fact that you, Par-Salian, check spells and trade stocks with the Dragon Orb

PAR-SALIAN  
That's correct.

RAISTLIN  
And Master Theobald, you buy things from the Abyss

THEOBALD  
Sure!

RAISTLIN  
And Antimodes, you keep selling your possessions to Takhisis

ANTIMODES  
Yes I do!

RAISTLIN  
And Caramon, you sent me that sweet birthday card

CARAMON  
True!

DALAMAR  
Oh, but Shalafi-  
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

CARAMON  
. .yeah

RAISTLIN  
EEEWWWWW!

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

RAISTLIN  
Gross!

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
The Dragon Orb is for porn!

RAISTLIN  
I hate porn

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
Grab your dick and double click

RAISTLIN  
I hate you straight men!

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
For porn, porn, porn!  
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn

RAISTLIN  
I'm leaving!

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
Porn, porn, porn, porn  
porn, porn, porn, porn

RAISTLIN  
I hate the Dragon Orb!

DALAMAR AND GUYS  
Porn, porn, porn, porn

DALAMAR  
The Dragon Orb is for

DALAMAR AND SOME  
Dragon Orb is for

DALAMAR AND ALL  
Dragon Orb is for PORN!

DALAMAR  
YEAH!

**A very astute person may ask: What in the Nine Hells is Caramon doing singing with a bunch of mages?**

**The answer: Simple. I wanted to have him masturbate! ;)**

**Questions? Comments? Complaints? Review, review, review!!! All flames will be used to re-burn down Nibelheim!!!**


End file.
